True Family

Have you read the newly released memoir by retired gymnast Dominique Moceanu?  Moceanu stole the hearts of the American public and the world while competing in the 1996 Olympics.  She and her team won Gold for the United States for the first time in history.  Her book is called Off Balance, a clever title relating a necessary skill in her sport to the real dysfunction of her childhood.  Perhaps the most publicized revelation in Moceanu's book is the discovery of a sister she never knew she had.  Jennifer was born when Dominique was 6 years old.  Their parents concealed giving Jennifer up for adoption entirely from their older daughter.  It was not until Dominique's mid-twenties that she and her other sister, Christina, learned of and reunited with Jennifer.

The Devil Went Down to Georgia [source]

My whole world in 1996 seemed to revolve around the Magnificent Seven (as the women's artistic gymnastics team was dubbed by the media).  Living in the suburbs of Atlanta made my excitement all the more real.  My own journey in the gymnastics world had ended the year before; my family came into some tough times and could not commit the time or money to this demanding sport.  Still I remember trying to stay flexible, do my handstands properly, and daydream about tumbling across springy blue carpet.  I would also imagine meeting these Olympians, my heroes.

On one occasion, I actually saw the Magnificent Seven.  My grandparents treated me to tickets for a rhythmic gymnastics event.  I could not tell you any details about the ribbon twirling or juggling or whatever other skills these batch of gymnasts performed that day.  No, my memories of that day only yield the image of the young victors~ Amanda Borden, Amy Chow, Jaycie Phelps, Dominique Dawes, Shannon Miller, Kerri Strug, and of course Dominique Moceanu.  They made an appearance to support the other competing gymnasts and greet a stadium full of fans.  I wondered if I could get close to them and tell them that I was a gymnast, too.  I was awestruck.  Even though they were teeny tiny athletes, they were giants in my mind.  They were living proof that even a child can be a champion.  That's what they symbolized to me.

Dominique competing in the 1996 Olympics on the beam [source]

Returning to the subject of her book, Dominique's story resonated with me.  It is a cautionary tale about parents deceiving their children.  While the secret sister may seem like the most shocking element, I was astounded to learn how her parents and coaches concealed her achievements and earnings from her.  Rather than living in a dream world I believed the "princess" of gymnastics had, Dominique was in a veritable hell of uncertainty, insecurity, and confusion.  And while it may just be a book that provides a window into one American stage parent story, I began to wonder about how different her life could have been had the adults in her life been honest.  This is a lesson to be considered by all, not just parents.  The truth has the power to bless or crush. Truth really matters.  Since my foundation for truth is Christianity, that's where I'll start.  

The first thing that pops into my mind on the subject of truth is that oft used quote, "The truth will set you free".  This is a direct quote from Jesus; did you know that?  The Bible is commonly believed to hold worldly words of wisdom like "Money is the root of all evil" and "God helps those who help themselves".  Scour the scripture, and you shorn't find either of these quotes word for word (shorn't happens to be my favorite non-word meaning should but won't).  The second expression has no roots in scripture at all, and the money proverb is extracted from its proper biblical context.  The full verse (with emphasis added by me) reads:

For the love of money is a root of all kinds of evil. Some people, eager for money, have wandered from the faith and pierced themselves with many griefs.

Clearly, money has no intrinsic quality making it good or bad; it's just paper.  It's how we use it that determines whether we make good or bad choices.  I use this as a prelusion for considering "The truth will set you free."  Here is Jesus' full statement in John 8:31-36:

"If you hold to my teaching, you are really my disciples.  Then you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free."

Since I'm a grammar fanatic and treasure the meaning of words, I want to break this down a little bit.  This is a conditional statement: first something must happen, then another something will follow.  In this case Jesus says to hold to his teachings.  So first I must read about what he taught.  The magical conditional then follows.  It reveals that learning Jesus' teachings lead to knowing truth.  That may sound like I've paraphrased what he just said so it doesn't seem too radical.  Now what may offend or ought to shock some is the claim that Jesus is making here.  His teachings are truth and they are powerful.  How powerful?  I'm glad you asked!  Knowing his teaching grants an individual freedom.

Wait a minute~ now I have a problem.  First, what am I being set free from?  Great question; wish I could claim I came up with it, but some of the Jewish disciples asked Jesus right then.  This is what they asked:

“We are Abraham’s descendants and have never been slaves of anyone. How can you say that we shall be set free?”

I hope these guys were talking about only themselves at this point; the Jews had most certainly been slaves a time or two before Christ's coming:  400 years in Egypt (see Exodus), a great period of time under Assyria (found in 2nd Kings), and of course 70 years in Babylon (also 2nd Kings & 2nd Chronicles & Jeremiah & Daniel).  Perhaps they weren't slaves at this point in history, but they certainly were being occupied by Rome. That would probably have been my reply had I been Jesus.  I would have literally thought about national freedom or physical bondage.  Because his message is for individuals, Jesus replied,

“Very truly I tell you, everyone who sins is a slave to sin.  Now a slave has no permanent place in the family, but a son belongs to it forever.  So if the Son sets you free, you will be free indeed."

Alright, just to keep our conditionals straight~ Jesus is saying that learning what he teaches leads to truth which leads to freedom from sin~ that is, spiritual slavery.  Is this how you've ever interpreted the expression "The truth will set you free"?  Does its true meaning surprise you?  Up pops another problem~ how does a man set free the hearts of other men?  That is something I don't believe I can explain to you; it's something you have to experience for yourself.  I will point out a word of encouragement for you.  My final conditional statement~ if you can accept that Jesus' teachings are true and you want to be set free from sin, then you are invited to be a permanent member in Jesus' family.  Seeking truth is not going on a philosophical quest for enlightenment; it's joining a heavenly family who so desires to have you as their son or daughter, as their brother or sister.

As I wrote earlier, the truth has the power to bless or to crush.  I testify that seeking truth in Jesus Christ is a blessing.  He teaches me about God and sets me free continually from sin so that I can be his sister.  I will leave you with a passage that I pray will help you believe that God is the source of truth.  Here's what the gospel writer John said about Jesus:

The one who comes from above is above all; the one who is from the earth belongs to the earth, and speaks as one from the earth. The one who comes from heaven is above all.  He testifies to what he has seen and heard, but no one accepts his testimony.  Whoever has accepted it has certified that God is truthful.  For the one whom God has sent speaks the words of God, for God gives the Spirit without limit.  The Father loves the Son and has placed everything in his hands.  Whoever believes in the Son has eternal life... [John 3:31-36]

Why I Run: Every Girl Wants To Be A Princess

Once upon a time I dated a boy who was an adventure nut.  He loved exploration, drawing, different cultures, fitness, and momentous experiences.  Though he was not suited for me, he planted in my mind an enthusiasm for running and destination races.  He encouraged me to run more with great determination to the point where I felt like he was my coach or trainer.  I struggled to keep up with this fellow who was built for running; seriously, he's a 6-foot-something lean young man with energy to spare.  He inspired me because he intended to run a marathon in Disney World.  Who knew one could do such a thing?  I thought he was a crazy dreamer.
 

The running fellow demonstrating his explosive energy

Well, some years later I had a friend post photos from a Disney half-marathon for women.  She sported a cute tutu because it was a princess-themed race.  She certainly looked cute, but I was definitely too old for that business.  A year later another friend completed the princess half-marathon sporting a great tulle skirt.  She caught my eye because she was my age & a young mom.  Super impressive; she had time to train with not one but TWO little boys under the age of 3!  Okay, so not only am I young enough to do it,  I also have no excuses for figuring out travel logistics with just one little one.  Plus, I think Kyle is eager to encourage me to do a race on my own.

             

The one thing that put me over the top was my friend Andrea.  She ran this race just last month wearing the most adorable Cinderella running costume complete with reflective trim.  Merciful heavens, I want to run dressed like a princess!

Seriously, could she be cuter?

So I happened to mention to my mom that I had aspirations to run like a Disney character .  Gift of all gifts~ she shared two blessings in my life I hadn't considered.  First, my parents' home in Florida is a relatively quick drive to Orlando.  No dispensing senseless sums of money on hotels!  Second, my little sister is a talented seamstress who happens to specialize in princess-wear.  I kid you not.  The stars are aligning so I can (hopefully) run a royal race next year at the happiest place on earth.

Exhibit A: Princess Peach of the Mushroom Kingdom

Exhibit B:  Princess Serenity (aka Sailor Moon from her Moon Kingdom days)

Exhibit C: Rapunzel~Official Disney Princess as of October 2011

Some may say she has a thing for blond princess, so I may use that to my advantage.  I've chosen Aurora to be my regal running alter ego.  She's probably my favorite princess because she has a knack for sleeping like I do.  I've commissioned my little sister to make something in the likeness of her color changing ballgown, and she's shopping iridescent fabrics in blue & pink.

Making tracks + catching Z's + flaxen hair = Aurora warrior

The final bonus for the Princess half-marathon is that both my big & little sister are interested in training for it and running it with me!  My big sister already runs regularly, but we've never run together before.  My little sister can't resist an opportunity to make & wear princess gear (hello, Exhibit A-C!), and she's been meaning to get more active.  Joy of all joys~ some of my favorite things are culminating to make for a very happy day in February 2013!!!

Glam trainers

Fly Boys

Kyle and I had a conversation while running many months ago.  It was before we knew whether we were having a boy or a girl, and I asked him if he was prepared for all the silly imagination play we'd have with our Hamiltot.  With a boy, we discussed talking trains and superheroes.  Kyle became nervous over having to play teatime and dress up with a little girl.  Good news for him that he wasn't thrown into the deep end with a little lady with our first baby.  Even so, Kyle doesn't always believe he is imaginative.  Thankfully he's already proven himself wrong, and I captured it on video.  Kyle does this thing where he flips B's bib backwards and pretends it is a cape.  He inadvertently created B's first pretend identity~ super baby!

Silly Mr. Hamilton underestimated himself.  I love having two fellas in my family, and I love what a good daddy Kyle is.  Life is sweet right now.  Praise the Lord!

Who put "me" in homemaking?

Well, I imagined having a lot to blog about once the baby was here.  Fast forward about 3 months and I have to accept that I'm not good at making time to write.  Turns out that dishes, laundry, and basically any chores increase exponentially with a third family member in the mix.  If I were more laid back, I think I could let things sit a bit longer in order to blog.  My problem is that my brain gets cluttered with my To-Do list so I can't concentrate on sharing my thoughts here.  Throw my busted camera in the mix, and I don't even have tons of cute baby pictures to post when I don't have time to write.  

We are in a new season now.  Ushering in winter and doing this parenting thing for 3 months means it's time to mix things up.  Time to carve out the "me time" and make some things I love happen.  I've seen too many What Not To Wear episodes to know that it's a slippery slope in the realm of new mom-dom.  When family and home become top priorities, you wake up one day 12 years from now with jeans that make you look like a human ice cream cone, a hair-do that suggests your hair dryer is somewhere under a sink collecting dust, and a faint memory of when you were called something other than mom (like your first name for instance).  Perhaps I'm off the deep end worrying about this now, but I know that if you do anything (good or bad) for 30 days, it'll likely become a lasting habit.  If you knew what kind of slothful living I've indulged in the last 90 days, you would fear for my future, too.  

I have to add that I recently studied Proverbs with my women's Bible study class.  As you may already know, this book ends with a description of one godly lady.  She does it all, and she does it with so much grace that her hubs can't help but praise her.  I am always convicted by her but even more so now since I've been promoted to parenting.  How does she juggle all of that and still stay classy?  Well, I'm pretty sure her secret is her relationship with God.  Since I have him too perhaps I could achieve all that she does. 

So with all that in mind, this week I've tried a few things including reading a bit more, running a 5k on the treadmill, doing a little project for something at church, baking & cooking, and making a homemade version of Pinterest (I'll explain that in a bit).  My friend Maria also told me about a way to earn a little money by doing a flu shot trial for nursing moms at Emory.  My pediatrician recommended getting a flu shot anyways and this way we get paid just to keep track of our health following the vaccine and making a couple of office visits.  I used some of our bonus income to pick out a dress for Kyle's company Christmas party.  Pretty exciting!  All of these things plus hanging out with friends and family are helping me from falling into the loss-of-self mom abyss.

I will say that I wasn't wild about running while still nursing.  I've read that marathon women make it happen without so much trouble.  I'll be running on the treadmill for the next few months (Bennett's too small for the jogging stroller plus it's getting arctic & dark here).  Do any of you have tips or experience in this area?  I love to run, but it's hard to be motivated to get out and do it.

Moving along~ Kyle didn't have to work for Veterans day.  We've had a great day at home including a fun visit with my friend Laura and son who is 20 weeks away from being born.  Kyle baked some spectacular bread and I played with Bennett lots.  We got some fun pictures in spite of our wonky camera dilemma.  Please enjoy a video of Bennett in action.

If that's not cute enough, I come bearing pictures...

It's business time~ that's why they're called business socks.  Okay, so it's not "business time", but instilling the love of music in our young son's heart is serious business in our home.

Bennett & his pony friend are really marveling at Kyle's skill.

It's fun to have a tiny Ham.

The meaty sweetie

As for my home Pinterest, I received a huge stack of magazines from both my mom and Kyle's mom.  I love getting fun ideas for things from them, but they were starting to take over.  I've begun the process of going through and pulling the pages of things I'll actually use and then tossing the rest of the magazines that I don't really need making secret stashes of fire hazards under our sofa.  As if I didn't have enough difficulty with our pitiful cameras, blogger has decided to flip my photos against my will.  I just can muster the willpower to try to correct it; here's what I have so far...

My new & cute notebook

A sideways section for recipes

A sideways section for travel

Even a sideways section for fitness

I'm also collecting games (crosswords, sudokus, etc), pretty craft projects, and home design inspiration. It's going to be fantastic some day.  While I made my cool notebook, here's what Mr. Hamilton did...

Do you think he could replicate this look for my hair on the night of the Christmas party?

And while Mr. Hamilton was baking fancy bread, here's what lil Mr. Hamilton did...

That is a hickey on my arm.  I promise I feed him~ you can tell by his meaty thighs.

Well, time to tend to the fam.  If you are interested on reading more about desiring to be a Proverbs 31 kind of lady, my friend Pat wrote this blog about homemaking.  I think it's wonderful & highly recommend it.  Later friends!

L'Amour

*Whimsical sigh* ~ could I be more in love with the wee Hamiltot?  Here are just a few reasons why...

1.  In my family we love a good LRB (that is, a Little Round Belly).  This is the key to baby B's sleeping through the night success~ fill up his tank and see his happy face in the morning!

2.  He takes after me~ remember my cross-eyed exuberance when we got the new car?  Plus he such an ubermensch because he can hold up his head like someone twice his age.

3.  Tiny man falls asleep upright.  Ridiculous~ he's so good for not dropping his pacifier on the floor.

4.  The Hamiltot looks good in a hat.  Please don't judge him for the girly boppy cover; that was all me.  I had no self-control when I picked it out...

This is about all I can share for now; the wee one demands my attention comme toujours....

A New Family Member!

We have a new addition to our Hamilton family!  It's a pretty exciting day, but just to have a reality check~ the baby isn't here yet.  Rather I guess you could say we've doubled our reliable family car collection.  We have a thing for Volvos...

This was the one and only Ham fam vehicle, but it's made one too many trips to the shop lately to have earned the name "old faithful".  It's currently struggling with some serious throttle problems leaving me feeling a bit throttled after driving it.

A man and his conquest~ Kyle did a lot of research and picked out an upgraded used car to be the family ride.  He's so good he had it checked out at a shop before paying it.

So happy about the new ride that I look cross-eyed~ yikes!  This happened to me once before....

I knew doughnuts made me deliriously happy; didn't know a new car would have the same effect...

Now that we're transitioning to a life of parenting, we had to stick with the wagon (we are not minivan folks nor could we endure paying for gas for an SUV).  We were hoping to remain a one car family after enjoying the no car lifestyle in France, but it's all good.  The old car will get Kyle to and from work each day just fine.  What other family can say they have two sweet wagons?

In other news, I am happy to tell you a huge answer to prayers!!!  Kyle and I went to his doctor yesterday to find out the results of his MRI.  Turns out what appeared to be a fracture on the x-ray was really a lesion in cartilage.  Sounds much better, right?  Yeah, I didn't think so either.... but it is actually really good.  The lesion could have been caused by his wake boarding accident or it could have happened really any time~ there's just no way to know when he injured it.  It will always be there and shouldn't really cause any problems.  So the discomfort/pain that Kyle was feeling running is a result of having bruised FIVE bones in his heel.  His doctor dropped some serious Latin on us naming all the injured osseous matter.  The glorious part about it all is that Kyle can kick his boot and crutches to the curb asap and only has to wear an ankle brace.  He can even return to exercising on a bike or elliptical right away.  He'll be allowed to return to real running (though very short distances) in a mere two weeks (though I think his plate will be full of other activities at the time).

I'll tell you that yesterday morning before we went to the doctor, Kyle asked me to pack his right shoe just in case he didn't need his boot anymore.  I thought to myself, "what does he think is going to happen today?  I'm hoping his injury won't lead to needing surgery, and he's thinking he'll walk out of the appointment in his normal shoes?  He's nuts!"  Oh ye me of little faith!  This was a very valuable lesson for me as we approach labor and delivery.  I ought to be praying with more confidence about how it will go and trusting that God can make the results better than I can imagine.

Anyways, I thought I'd share our news with you.  Lucky little Hamiltot with have a healthy daddy who can stroll around with him in his arms sans crutches and a fancy chariot for his homecoming.

Happy Mother's Day!

What a wonderful weekend we had at the Ham home!  I'll post more on our activities in the days to come, but I wanted to share some fun photos of my mom on this day. 

Hope my sisters won't hurt me for sharing this one~this is our church portrait from 1996 or so.

Can you believe that's my big sister KHud graduating from college?  She looks like a baby!  In this picture, I thought my mom looked like she could be BHud's mom (he's the fella married to my big sis).  I think it's the curls.

My parents took me on a lovely trip to Florida the week after I returned from living in Spain for 4 months in the spring of 2006.

This is just a cute picture of her with what appears to be some kind of gift tissue in the foreground.

Miss Foo, Mom, and me by the waterway in Florida.

Thanks Mom for being so great from setting a godly example in my life to spoiling everyone with delicious food to always encouraging a love for books and music in our home.  I hope as that I can be a great mom like you!

A Veritable Book Nook

Today was a very languid day.  Between sunny and overcast moments, I succumbed to staying indoors all day with a good book.  Aren't these some of the most marvelous days of all?  It was a favorite pastime of mine in France especially with those books that are hard to put down.  In the states, though, I feel the burden of being busy and productive.  I rarely yield to the desire to cozy up with a good read unless it is bedtime or a Sunday afternoon.  Today I made an exception and will likely be rushed to finish some weighing tasks in the days to come, but let me tell you, it was worth it.

I just finished reading Bonhoeffer: Pastor, Prophet, Martyr, Spy by Eric Metaxas.  It was so, so wonderful (and if you want to know what I really thought about it, you can pop over to facebook and read my book review).  On a reading day like today, I was reminded of summer days and Saturday morning my sisters and I shared growing up.  It makes me miss the good old days, but I know sisters are big readers where they are.  So it's only distance that keeps it from being the same.  I also hope to instill a love for books in my son.  I daydream about Saturdays sans t.v. and each Hamilton letting their imagination run wild with books in hand.  Perhaps it's not the most ambitious dream, but I think it's a good one.  Anywho, I thought I'd leave you with a photo I found a couple of weeks ago while perusing childhood photos.  Here are the Heim girls in their element....

Stairs, pillows, dolls, pajamas, blankies, and books (at Christmas time, no less!)  We must have been a dream come true for our parents.

Norcross 10k

Today Kyle and I participated in our first 10k (that's 6.2 miles if you weren't sure)~ it was called the Corners to Crossing.  It was in Norcross, our home for the last 6 months.  We started at the big shopping center down the street from us (The Forum) and ended up in a park in downtown Norcross.  The weather was perfect since it stormed all night last night; I love temperatures in the 60s to jog in and there was a solid breeze the whole time.  Even though my training for this run has been a little rough (with my longest run since the half-marathon only being 4.4 miles), we rocked this run coming in at an 1 hour 10 minutes.  Maybe that's not crazy for serious runners, but I shaved 1 minute 20 seconds off each mile~ in the half-marathon, we were running 12m40s miles and in this race we ran 11m20s miles!  Speedy for the heavier and more pregnant girl I've become.

Speaking of the baby, he did great the whole run.  I think he slept the whole time which was a nice change of pace because he was moving like crazy last night.  It's like my race excitement seeped into the womb and made him wacky until nearly 1am.  It's all good though; I just spent my time reading Bonhoeffer by Eric Metaxas.  I know I mentioned this book in my last entry; it's one of the first biographies I've ever read.  It's great and so so interesting.  So after I got home from the race today, a facebook pal mentions she's hearing Metaxas speak TODAY at a church that is literally fewer than 10 minutes from my house.  How ridiculous?  What are the odds that the author of the book you are reading (and super enjoying) doing a public appearance in your neighborhood at the exact moment you need a shower and a nap?  Needless to say, I'll have to catch him next time he's in town...

Back to race things!  So there were no official photographers from what we could tell for this race (bummer); if you'd like to see the online coverage, please click here (but I think there are a total of 8 pictures featuring a total of 0 Hamiltons).  So we had to improvise...

This is our post-race victory portrait. 

SWAG~stuff we all get!  We love races for the freebies, and guess what Kyle loved best?  He wore this while he baked baguettes last night~he's a hardcore baker!

A tiny Waffle House backpack~ Kyle and I went on a date to the WaHo on Wednesday and enjoyed a free waffle thanks to the Atlanta Marathon folks a month ago.  Guess what?  We have another free waffle coming our way thanks to this race!  It's kind of weird, but if it weren't for the free waffles I don't think I ever would have tried this House's eponymous plate.

Race day shirt!  My arms look kind of beastly needlessly...

There were fun activities for families the rest of the day.  Kyle and I thought we'd check out a Taste of the Forum to see if there were some good deals on restaurant samples.  Turns out it wasn't really worth our beans (if we'd never been to a Taste of Marietta, we'd not have judged so harshly).  Kyle did, however, score a free milkshake coupon from Which Wich, and he took the opportunity to cash in while we walked back to the car.

Thumbs up for a free Oreo shake!

It's so cool that I'm 5 months pregnant  and running and beating my old times.  I'm consistently a 13 minute mile on my day to day runs, but it felt great to go a little faster.  I'm so grateful that God made my body capable of doing things I couldn't have dreamed~ I can run and feel healthy and good while there is a tiny (but not for long) little baby growing inside of me.  It's miraculous!  I also should brag on my sweet husband who endlessly endures running with me while tons of suburban ladies leave us in their dust.  Kyle consistently encourages me and makes me laugh while we're working it; he makes me feel like I'm stronger and more athletic than I really am.  I love that we run together and all the quality time we get on the pavement.  We've got a 5k on the calendar for next month, and I'm looking forward to that.  We're also already talking about the day we have that jogging stroller and taking baby boy out for a spin.  So much to look forward to!  For now, time for some more rest and noshes!  Happy weekend friends!

Those Genes Look Good On Him

Nearly every night in bed, I'll turn to Kyle and say, "Do you think baby will have red hair/blue eyes/a good height?"  Inevitably he answers that it could be or he doesn't know.  I always conclude the conversation with hopes that he is a cute baby.  Kyle reminds me that we'll be happy if he has all his fingers and toes~ cuteness isn't our priority.  So I dug in the depths of our combined photo archives to get an idea of what baby might look like from our baby pictures.  Before I share these with you (and not to be self-deprecating), I sincerely hope he takes after Kyle.  My pictures evoked a "Buzz, your girlfriend!  Woof!!" sensation in me...


Newborn Photos

Kyle after he made his debut next to his twin sister Kelly.  You can see his cute little cleft lip before he underwent surgery.  We're not sure what to expect with our little man; hopefully he'll have perfect little lips.

Among Kyle's and my siblings, I was the only one born with a full head of hair.  Since my birth I have ceased being Asian and dropped the faux-hawk look.  Little Mr. Hamilton would probably rock this do better than his mother...

All Dolled Up

Baby Kyle looks dapper in his church duds.  How handsome!

Holy Olan Mills nightmare!  Would you like some sauce with your meatball? 

Bare Babes

This is my all-time favorite baby picture of Kyle.  The Hamiltots are enjoying chocolate popsicles; I like to imagine this is the moment that Kyle realized that chocolate was his favorite food.  I love his happy face and strawberry blond hair!

Thank goodness I found one cutie picture of me.  After digging around my mom's pictures, it appears only one roll of film was ever captured in 1984.  A hair comb isn't an obvious bath time toy, but it seems to have been a source of mirth for me.

 So do I have any clue now as to what our little baby will look like?  Nope... but I'm pretty sure I'll be happy so long as he isn't a total skeletor-face like the ultrasound photos reveal.  I will say that I am getting excited about seeing him.  We only have 18 weeks to wait now!

My Apologies

I know many of you are anticipating discovering the gender of our sweet 17 week bundle of joy.  I'm sorry today is not the day for sharing this.  Yesterday morning Kyle's sweet granddaddy, Duncan Howard Hamilton, passed away at age 89.  It's amazing how a season so infused with joy is not immune to grief and loss.  Kyle and I bought a crib for the baby on Saturday as we plan a bright and happy nursery for our little Ham.  Later that day we heard that his granddaddy was not well and it was serious.  As I reflect on this weekend, my favorite chapter in Ecclesiastes jumps to my brain.  Many of you will recognize Solomon's word because they were made popular by a 1960s folk rock song by the Byrds.

There is a time for everything,
and a season for every activity under the heavens:
a time to be born and a time to die,
a time to plant and a time to uproot,
a time to kill and a time to heal,
a time to tear down and a time to build,
a time to weep and a time to laugh,
a time to mourn and a time to dance,
a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them,
a time to embrace and a time to refrain from embracing,
a time to search and a time to give up,
a time to keep and a time to throw away,
a time to tear and a time to mend,
a time to be silent and a time to speak,
a time to love and a time to hate,
a time for war and a time for peace.

I guess for me it's difficult to process both a time to weep and a time to laugh simultaneously.  I will say that I'm learning so much about my husband right now, which is a gift.  When we heard the news we were visiting a Sunday school class for the first time.  I thank the Lord that Kyle's friend Nathan was there.  He hugged my husband to comfort him in a way that I don't think I could.  Don't get me wrong, I can hug my husband.  I just am not big enough to hold him when he needs to lean on someone.  After a few minutes of talking, Kyle surprised me by saying he'd like to go to worship.  What a challenge for both of us to worship God even though our eyes filled with tears, and we were both hurting.  I'll tell you, though, it's exactly where we needed to be.  If I had been in Kyle's shoes, nothing would have kept me from practically sprinting to our car before my weeping interrupted a sermon.  After church we came home and took time to process all that had happened and all that needed to happen this week with his family.  

Kyle surprised me more.  He picked up his banjo and played a hymn that he always heard growing up at his grandparents' church, He Lives.  As we have never faced loss like this in our marriage, I needed my big sister to talk to.  She and her husband both were a great comfort to Kyle and me~ they asked the right questions and listened carefully and spoke encouraging words.  Katie helped me when I was afraid I couldn't comfort and support Kyle as much as I desired.  I've only ever really lost two grandparents, but for one I was very young and for the other I hadn't had a lifelong relationship with her (I inherited a very sweet grandmother through marriage when I was 16 years old).  Every wife wants to be the best they can, and this was not the time for me to let Kyle down.  

Thankfully just because I can't exactly relate to the situation, I still can be there for Kyle.  For one, I loved his granddaddy.  In a lot of ways, I think Kyle takes after him.  They both have such kind demeanors.  They also have a terrible weakness for anything chocolate.  Granddaddy has a whole drawer in the kitchen full of candy bars.  Kyle says that when they were kids, his granddaddy would tell him and his siblings that Symphony bars gave you diarrhea in order to prevent the kids from dipping into his stash.  Kyle believed that for years.  One night in the last couple of years, we were eating homemade peach ice cream with his granddaddy.  He was telling us about farming (his lifelong profession).  We were puzzled as to how much a bushel was.  Granddaddy said, "Why it's 4 pecks, of course!"  When we still seemed perplexed by the introduction of yet another peculiar standard of measurement, he asked, "What are they teaching you in school, anyways?"  He always had a way of making you smile. 

One last thing I learned about Kyle was about how guys and girls are different.  While I would want to stay home, look at old pictures, and submit to the impulse to cry at any moment, Kyle needed activities to do.  It wasn't in an effort to avoid dealing with the death, but it was cathartic.  We had been planning on running 11 miles as part of our half-marathon training.  I had thought maybe we'd have to push it back to next weekend, but Kyle was ready to go the distance.  As we ran, he was trying hard to remember things about visiting his grandparents' home when he was little.  He talked about tractor rides, homemade beignets, and sleeping in cots in his grandparents' bedroom.  He told me stories I had never heard before like how they always used to play with an old fashioned hoop and stick game.  Going for the run provided a wonderful opportunity to talk about it easily; Kyle could reflect on happier times and talk about them with genuine gladness.

Since my sharing has become a bit long, I wanted to end with just a couple of pictures.

Kyle plays the banjo for his grandmother, uncle John, and his granddaddy

We smile big at Kyle and my rehearsal dinner.

On our wedding day with Nanny (on my right), Grandmother, and Granddaddy

I have seen the burden God has laid on the human race. He has made everything beautiful in its time. He has also set eternity in the human heart; yet no one can fathom what God has done from beginning to end.  I know that there is nothing better for people than to be happy and to do good while they live.  That each of them may eat and drink, and find satisfaction in all their toil—this is the gift of God.

(from Ecclesiastes 3)

She's Crafty

My sisters are both quite skilled in practical crafts.  My big sister has cross-stitched a number of beautiful samplers; they are very good.  My little sister sews like a genius and makes really sweet items like costumes to purses to stuffed animals.  Once upon a time I was an avid cross-stitcher and amateur knitter.  I even tried my hand at transforming an old pair of jeans into a funky backpack.  It was not a success, and thankfully there is no evidence proving it ever existed.  I considered that perhaps my adult craft was writing, but it's not like I can frame a blog entry and put it on my wall.  Well, my little sister has upped the stakes by throwing knitting into her cute bag of tricks.  On top of that, you could say my big sister professionally writes since she is a minister and master of sermon composition.  I had to do something, but what?

KHud's angel sampler is impressive.  They are cute.

Miss Foo administers moon justice with friends in her Sailor Moon costume.

Remember this small attempt at knitting I accomplished last summer?  You are looking at my finished product... *sigh*

Well, it turns out that color coding my calendar with Crayolas isn't exactly special.  Furniture organization was much easier with my college furniture~so becoming more feng shui seemed a little senseless with all the heavy stuff in our home.  I have yet to find a way to make doing the dishes or laundry creative though I've considered stacking/folding in an unusual way (think Lincoln Logs).  Turns out rhythmic running will never qualify for Olympic status; as a matter of fact~most runners run rhythmically.  I won't even try to become a chef extraordinaire~have you met my husband?  Just give me a box of mac'n'cheese and Rotel, and you have fancy noodles.

Back to square one... Happily, opportunity came knocking.  Over the holidays we used a borrowed stocking for Kyle that needed to be returned to its homeland (North Carolina).  My mom and big sister invited me to come along to the local cross-stitch shop.  They picked out some new projects, and I felt inspired to pick out a little something something for the hubs.  Now I couldn't execute this stocking single-handedly.  Big sis, KHud, whip stitched my edges and helped me get started.  She even penciled Kyle's name onto the pattern for me.  Miss Foo, the younger sis, will likely construct the actual stocking part of the stocking.  It's basically like I'm doing nothing.

Au revoir tete de bonhomme de neige.

Now if you are into cross stitch, I'll share the magical details.  It's on a linen fabric that looks a bit rustic (as you can probably tell from the image).  I'm using a DMC floss, but I'm using 4 of the 6 threads at a time so it stands out (rather than 2).  There~now that I've revealed the secrets of my trade, I will bore you no more.

A blurry finished product from the cover of the pattern.  There is no Robert in our Ham fam.

My progress~it's a headless Santa.  Less than cheery....

The goal is to have my part done well before the holiday so that it can be a stress-free project.  Also, it's a bit addicting; perhaps I'll tackle a sampler or something else before 2011 comes to a close.  Once again, I can feel like I fit in with my oh-so Sense and Sensibility siblings.  Happy day!