Afternoons & Evenings

Any parent will tell you that having kids is a full-time job.  Aside from a few times of day when the children are sleeping, every waking moment requires readiness to meet their needs.  Long gone are the days of leisurely sleeping in on weekends or enjoying a quiet stroll to Starbucks to read a book.  In this season of life with two under age three, my time is rarely my own.

So how greedily do I long for naptimes and bedtimes?  How wistfully do I bid my husband farewell in the morning when he heads to work?  I never know what any given day will hold-- meltdowns, disastrous diapers, boo boos that make me want to cry, or simply animated children who desire a lot of hands-on play.  I hardly ever believe I'm equipped to face the variety of activities and responsibilities caring for two little ones requires.  So when miraculously the stars have aligned and simultaneous naps occur, the house is quiet.  And my mind fills with all the things I'm finally free to do.  I declare this "ME time" and covet every glorious minute I get.  As soon as the first cry comes from a nursery, I get that same sensation as when one's alarm clock goes off-- the dream is over, now back to it.  I regularly sigh and dolefully reflect that even the alarm clock has built in grace for the weary sleeper with its generous snooze button...

Lately; however, God has been speaking to me about my quiet time not being my own.  I am quick to assert, "But Lord, don't you see I'm serving these little ones all day?  Aren't I entitled to veg out for a bit to unwind?"  God has said "No Leah.  I know you are tired, but this is kingdom time."

James 4:2-6 reads:

  You do not have, because you do not ask.  You ask and do not receive, because you ask wrongly, to spend it on your passions.  You adulterous people! Do you not know that friendship with the world is enmity with God? Therefore whoever wishes to be a friend of the world makes himself an enemy of God.  Or do you suppose it is to no purpose that the Scripture says, “He yearns jealously over the spirit that he has made to dwell in us”?  But he gives more grace.

So maybe I'm tired or two days behind on taking a shower.  Maybe my eyes are burning because the baby woke up 4 times in the evening.  But dispensing my time on frivolous things not only leaves little time for me to spend alone with God.  It actually makes the gap between us greater.  It communicates to my Maker that he doesn't really get how I feel or what I need.  Has there ever been a more ludicrous predication?  No wonder James says I'm acting like God's enemy; it's like walking the opposite direction from a water source in my greatest thirst.

Kingdom time.  Well, it is different everyday.  Sort of like the station activities from Kindergarten.  Sometimes it's reading devotions or reviewing notes from my Bible study class.  Sometimes it's writing in my prayer journal.  Sometimes it's reading a stack of updates from the ministries we support financially and with prayer.  Sometimes it's writing notes to a few special people God has given me to care for.  Sometimes it's listening to sermons on a podcast.  Today it's blogging (my favorite station, if I had to pick one).  Most days I have God's word with me to read and reflect in the hopes that my time is inline with His word.

Only this past week have I really thought, "wow, this is the part of the kingdom He's given me today."  To be entrusted with any spiritual charge is quite humbling.  Even more so when I reflect on the knowledge that He "yearns jealously" to be with me like the Spirit who indwells me.  How could I resist that kind of loving attention from the Father?

Perhaps this is my own personal interpretation or application of the phrase, "but he gives more grace", but I can testify that when I do dedicate time to him in my afternoons while the children sleep, he renews me.  He gives me a better attitude as I face the challenges of the rest of the day.  He gives me glimpses of glory where I truly see and experience how precious this time is with my tiny ones.  He reminds me of his presence when things go all wrong and I turn into a monster mom-- and he forgives me when I repent and restores the loving connection with my children that I break.  God is truly gracious to me.

And with all this said (so to speak), I hear the cry of one ushering in the time for late afternoon play...

Just a thought on Jesus

In my devotion time I have been reading Hebrews.  The writer begins by establishing Jesus' superiority to all things; the first of which is angels.  This is significant because it must mean Jesus is more than a mere man.  A passage in Psalm 8 reads:

When I consider your heavens,
    the work of your fingers,
the moon and the stars,
    which you have set in place,
 what is mankind that you are mindful of them,
    human beings that you care for them?
 You have made them a little lower than the angels
    and crowned them with glory and honor.
 You made them rulers over the works of your hands;
    you put everything under their feet:
 all flocks and herds,
    and the animals of the wild,
 the birds in the sky,
    and the fish in the sea,
    all that swim the paths of the seas.

In God's creation, there is a hierarchy of beings clearly presented by the psalmist (David): first the angels, then mankind, and finally all animals.  It got me thinking about how Jesus must be both man and God.  Indeed, he has his identity confirmed by the angels at his birth.  Luke records how a great company of heavenly hosts suddenly erupts in praise after an angel announces the birth of the Messiah to a group of shepherds.  It had never occurred to me how absurd the angels worshiping God at Jesus' birth would be if he weren't God's son. I can't imagine getting all my loved ones together to worship God at the birth of any animal (this is the closest parallel I can imagine). 

In what may seem like an unrelated event, my son and I were looking at pictures a friend had shared.  He recently went on a trip to Paris where he snapped a picture of a statue of Julius Caesar outside the Louvre.  At first sight, my son exclaimed, "That's an angel, Mama!"  I was simply stunned.  His exposure to angels has been what most children see~ the cherubs of Fisher-Price and various storybooks.  

Here, he beheld a strong, larger-than-life Roman warrior.  Without a doubt this statue is a better representation of what an angel ought to look.  Most accounts of angels in the Bible involve their human witnesses falling to the ground in sheer terror.  Angels guard, strengthen, destroy, deliver, and command.  They obey God completely and at times reveal God's will to his people.  They are eternal and enjoy being in the presence of the Lord constantly.  As much as I can comprehend, that would make them in most ways superior to me in design. 

God turned my own "storybook" conception of the nativity on its head.  God has shown me that Jesus' lordship is confirmed by a mass of seemingly superior creatures bursting forth in glorious praise to God at his birth.  It also wasn't a chorus of cherubs singing Hark! the Herald, but a multitude of heavenly warriors praising God.  It's an image that strikes me with how great Jesus is-- leaving his heavenly splendor to become a helpless baby yet still God receiving praise from his own creation.  The angels confirm the incarnation, and I see more of him.

If ever man was God or God man, Jesus Christ was both.

~Lord Byron~ 

My Corner of the Kingdom

This is my desk.  Most days I see just what you see~ a big mess.  But as I approached it today, God revealed to me that this is where my kingdom work happens.  So many days I feel so small.  I think I have little influence because my primary occupation is taking care of my home and raising my son.  While I know these things are worthy and high callings, I often believe that the prominent Christians like Billy Graham or Beth Moore are achieving greater glory for the kingdom of God.  But God is good to remind me that he has entrusted big things to me as well.

On the wall is my prayer board.  It reminds me to pray for the ministries we support, for the needs and requests of friends and family, and for my own spiritual growth.  Then on my pushpin board there is a photo (not pictured) of a man in prison in Iran for being a Christian.  One way God has led me to serve is to write letters to him because the Iranian government is more likely to free a Christian from prison the more letters they receive; it means they are not forgotten and others know that he is incarcerated unjustly.  Next to his photo is the beautiful blue print saying "He is Risen".  This is my motivation to act on my faith.  Jesus Christ conquered death and lives; let me follow him in all ways.

My desk is covered in reading materials: a prayer guide from Samaritan's Purse, a Tim Keller Bible study on Mark, my robot journal for recording my thanks to God, a book containing my pastor's testimony, and a quarterly publication on the state of Christian persecution in Iran.  By my pencils are my flash cards and laminated chart to help me remember themes of each book of the Bible.  It may seem like I just have collected a lot of things, but each day I get to study God's word, learn from other believers, and participate in the work God is doing through prayer. 

Of course there is no overlooking my computer.  How can I thank God enough that I have a place here on this blog and other websites to express my faith?  How fortunate am I to live in an age where a stay-at-home mom has a platform to share the message of the gospel from the desk in her home in the suburbs?  What fullness of joy I feel when I see my corner of the kingdom with the eyes of God.  Nothing and no one is ever so small in Christ~ not even my messy little desk of unsorted kingdom work.  Praise the Lord!

On My Heart

Last night I was perusing my closet for what to wear on Valentine's day.  I wanted to be festive and love any occasion to be super girly, but my weariness at the end of the day led me to a simpler outfit.  White jeans and black shirt~ seems more appropriate for Ash Wednesday so maybe that's where I got the idea.  I found a beautiful pink scarf that was a hand-me-down from Kyle's grandmother (we call her "Nanny") and was delighted when I saw the color perfectly matched a new bracelet.  This bracelet was a gift from my friend Libby for hosting a baby shower for her earlier this year.

Well, you may call it a coincidence or perhaps divine, but my husband woke me up this morning with news about both Nanny and Libby.  Both have been taken to the hospital.  Nanny is not doing very well and has low blood pressure.  Libby is in labor and anticipating the arrival of her baby girl.  My husband and I sat and prayed for them before my day got started.  We prayed for comfort and hope of restoration for Nanny while we prayed for joy and courage as our friends become parents and experience a miraculous blessing.

Thursdays for Bennett and me always start with BSF (Bible Study Fellowship).  If you are familiar with BSF, you know that each week you hear a lecture on the passage of scripture you are studying.  Well, I was having a hard time focusing today because my mind kept returning to these prayers of intercession for Nanny and Libby.  I looked down to pray (and as many of you can anticipate where this is going) realized that the brightest parts of my ensemble were reminders of these two ladies.  Perhaps Valentine's day made me take special notice of Nanny's pink scarf which I had never before worn.  Who knows?  I just was comforted in my heart that God, who guides me in every way, perhaps led me to select these articles last night before I knew they needed prayer for their special circumstances.  He knows all things and is sovereign over all things so I can be glad to trust these two (or should I say 3?) precious ladies to his tender and caring hands.

Say It Ain't So!

Have you ever read a book and really related to a character?  Years ago when I read Sense and Sensibility, Marianne was the first character in a book with whom I truly identified.  The Dashwoods were very much like my family; a household full of women who had fallen from a comfortable lifestyle at the loss of their father (we didn't lose our father to death~ divorce and remarriage took his influence out of our lives).  Elinor, the eldest, was endlessly good and strong.  I almost couldn't help but substitute my big sister Katie's name for her's while I read.  With as much grace and modesty as Elinor, Katie could have been Jane Austen's inspiration for the character.  The youngest sister, Margaret, was a daydreamer extraordinaire fancying herself an adventurer to the first degree even whilst bound to life in a meager cottage.  My younger sister Anna wouldn't have been caught playing with an atlas, but she almost couldn't get caught without drawing in a sketchbook or fashioning herself attire fit for a pirate, a Shakespearean ghoul, or an exotic princess warrior.

[source]

And I was Marianne.  The hopeless romantic ever broken over too many Willoughbys.  Like the book's songbird, I moodily played Chopin pieces which began in major keys then digressed to the minor believing that this perfectly symbolized the inevitable unraveling of every love story.  And though I never wandered my county aimlessly in despair, I think I would have found strolling away my cares very refreshing.  For years I thought I was doomed to marry Alan Rickman (who portrayed Colonel Brandon in the movie); oh grief upon grief to be destined to wed Professor Snape!

[source]

Okay, this is all very silly.  But perhaps you, too, have become wrapped up in a story because you identified with one character.  I take it as a very reassuring sign when this happens as I read the Bible.  My faith is encouraged when I know someone else has faced a similar experience and were healed, redeemed, rescued, or saved in some other fashion by God.  Plus I get a deeper understanding of who Jesus is; while living on earth, he experienced many of the same things I experience.

Ah, but what to do when the convicting power of the Holy Spirit comes on you and says, "Leah, you are like LOT!"  In Spanish I would say "que verguenza!" (or "what shame!").  You see, Lot had once lived in his uncle Abraham's household; many of us know his uncle as father Abraham.  While living in Canaan, a food shortage threatened their lives.  They sought security and well-being in Egypt even though that is not was the Lord desired.  God instructed that they move back to Canaan and reassured them that He would be their provider in need.  But while in Egypt, Abraham and Lot acquired great wealth including lots of livestock and servants.  It got to the point that their excessive belongings cramped their living situation, and the two men decided to part ways.  Abraham stayed where God appointed him to stay. Lot moved the the suburbs of a nearby town, Sodom (have you heard of it before?).

A time came when Sodom was seized by a union of powerful kingdoms from the east.  The king of Sodom was forced to pay tribute to his occupiers every year.  For 12 years this goes on until one day, the king of Sodom banded together with a few other local rulers to rebel.  They didn't pay their dues which provoked the kings from the east to subdue the insurgents by force.  The strength of this military easily overcame Sodom and the neighboring towns.  And Lot (who we discover had taken up residency in Sodom during the intervening years) was deported to the east along with his family and all his worldly possession. 

Abraham got word of what has happened to his nephew.  He gathered a small army of his own to pursue and free his family from captivity.  Despite a journey of hundreds of miles on foot and facing a powerful army, Abraham and his men defeated the kings of the east in what can only be described as a miracle.  Lot was rescued and saw the restoration of all he previously had.

[source]

Perhaps here is where you'd expect the moral of the story.  Lot considers he ought never to have left his uncle Abraham's household, sells everything he owns, and renounces the life of literal and spiritual bondage he experienced in Sodom.  Goodness, if only it were so...

Years and years go by before we discover what has become of Lot.  Now if you've heard of Sodom and Gomorrah, you probably know what's coming.  Abraham received 3 messengers from God who imparted that the cruelty and evil of Sodom had provoked an outcry so great to God that he must respond.  Even though Abraham hadn't been told that the cities would be destroyed, he began to plead that all would be saved for the sake of a minority of good men.  He argued that if God is good and just, he wouldn't send good men to the same judgment as the wicked.  This is undoubtedly true about God; yet there was only one man in the whole of Sodom that God had deemed worthy of saving.

Two angels were dispatched to Sodom where they met Lot at the city gate.  Lot had now become an official, a leader in the city.  He was deeply enmeshed with this city.  Such a scene broke out at the angels' arrival (which you can read about here) that it became urgent to evacuate Lot and his family from Sodom before any harm befell them. At morning's first light, the angels urged Lot to take his family and run to the mountains or else they, too, could be swept away in the disaster.  Perhaps hoping against hope that God would change His mind, Lot hesitated.  He was so attached to his belongings and his way of life that he was reluctant to leave it behind.  At this, the angels took hold of Lot and his family and led them outside the city.  I imagine they were wistfully being pulled away.  I forgot to mention that Lot's two daughters had fiances who chose to stay behind; those brides-to-be were certainly dragged from Sodom.

[source]

 As if words like "flee" and "hurry" didn't mean anything, Lot began to bargain with the angels about where they should go.  This modern man and creature of comfort insisted it'd be better for them to seek refuge in a small town nearby rather than a craggy mountain.  By grace, God granted Lot this request.

Phew, by midday this family arrived in the small town of Zoar.  At that same time burning sulfur from heaven was devouring everything and everyone in and around Sodom and Gomorrah.  Just when you think Lot's family have escaped danger and despair a second time, his wife made a fatal error.  She looked back to her home and grieved over her losses in her heart.  Rather than being grateful that she, her husband, and two daughters had been delivered from judgment and spared by God's mercy, she could only feel sorry for herself.  At this instant she was transformed into a pillar of salt.  From this moment on, it was nothing but sadness and a downward spiral for Lot and his daughters.

Merciful heavens, you say?  Would it have been easier to read it straight out of the Bible than read my book report version?  Perhaps, but I want to illustrate a valuable lesson I gleaned from Lot's example.

Shifting gears a bit~you could say that (perhaps like many girls) that I enjoy shopping.  My thrifty husband may characterize me at times as a spendthrift.  During the holidays in particular I spent hours thinking and planning what I would buy for loved ones' gifts.  Then after the holidays I wanted to capitalize on the post-Christmas sales with my gift cards and shopping money.  Literal months went by where I was either shopping the internet for gifts to buy or scouring my favorite stores for must-have items.  Shopping became my habit and with it, the consolation and excitement of having something new.

I confess to you that I am not proud of this habit and the painful strain it put on my relationship with my sweet husband.  Though I am far from having broken our bank, I have betrayed a trust about how we spend and save money.  Internally and personally, it is nearly unbearable the shame that I feel when I put so much stock in the value of things that are essentially valueless.  Sure they cost money, but it cost me time where I wish I had been developing deeper spiritual qualities that truly will last.  I literally could have spent those hours studying the Bible, singing spiritual songs and reading books to my son, writing encouraging love notes to my husband, praying thanks to God that we want for nothing, spending time with family and friends, or simply not cramming stuff in my heart-shaped need-hole.

Like Lot, I didn't trust God for my security.  I have clung to worldly wealth and comforts that aren't in and of themselves wrong, but what I felt in my heart (greed, desire, pride, impulsiveness) was definitely wrong.  His decisions didn't just affect him.  His wife was so influenced by his example that she couldn't even see the second miraculous salvation she received from God.  Is my greed or lust for shopping contagious to my husband or perhaps my son?  Do I demonstrate what it means to be a good steward when my neighbors see packages from clothes stores waiting on my doorstep?  How is my influence diminished or tarnished by allowing this sin to persist? 

And Lot's desire to live in affluence led him to be undiscerning about the sinful culture surrounding him.  He couldn't see how the sexually perverse society had corrupted the minds and standards of his daughters.  He tolerated some very grievous practices and allowed his children to believe it was acceptable behavior. When I hold on to this sin, what else do I have to accept or condone?  Am I more attached to collecting things than building character? I can only hope that my repentance and desire to change will entice my Savior to exchange my weakness for his righteousness.  I hope to nip this sin in the bud before it costs me anything close to what it cost Lot.  Please Lord never let me choose the temporary and uncertain comforts of the world over the eternal comfort of friendship with You.

Thanks for reading and letting me share.  Sometimes when I bear my thoughts in words I think it must be hard for others to relate to it.  Whether you think I'm too Bible-focused or that my struggles are seemingly so basic (Materialism?  Seriously?), I hope I haven't alienated you with my reflections as I sort out this business of the heart.  It is humbling to know that even though I am growing in my faith, I'm susceptible to sin which I naively believed I was above.  Thank you God for repentance, grace, and renewal!


Moody broody Chopin (Prelude Op. 28, No. 15) ~ one of my favorites to play back in my Marianne days

Do I stink?

I often jog around my community.  Since it is suburban, there is a nice balance of development and wilderness.  As such, I enjoy the safety of civilization as well as the splendor of creation while on my excursions.  There is an unfortunate condition, though, which cannot be avoided under these circumstances-- roadkill.  Quite often I will spot some sad creature who met a tremendously violent end.  The range of animals I've seen are as small as a simple mole to a great and majestic buck.  One thing these animals all share in common postmortem is that terrible stench of death.  Did I mention I live in the South?  The warm weather is not a kindness at these times.

Please excuse these macabre images; I want to illustrate something important.  While I am a long way off, the deep breaths required for running invite that odor right into my lungs.  Repulsion and nausea provoke me to scour the terrain for the sight of the offender.  Sometimes the lifeless animal is very close and startles me with disgust.  On some occasions it takes me a seemingly unreasonable amount of time to finally discover the source of that terrible aroma.  Once I have found it, my response is invariable to flee with all my might as my heart pounds powerfully.  The sight and smell of death are fearful; the words of my mind say, "Leah, you were not meant to see death."

None of us were meant to see death.  The story of creation unfolds to reveal God's purpose for man: to enjoy each others' company eternally.  All too soon, the first two people wander into rebellion quite mindless of who they are.  They want to redefine themselves and in doing so, they redefine all of humanity's relationship to God.  The rebellion was classified as sin, and the punishment for sin was death.

Skip ahead a few chapters and a lot of theology.  Christ comes to restore life.  He is the divine resuscitator bringing us back to life from spiritual death.  I have not always understood what spiritual life and death are.  Spiritual death is different than physical death; all our bodies still die.  Though Christ has the power to return individuals to physical life from death; he demonstrates this only several times in the gospels.  This was not his goal; it just is a visible example of what he does spiritually for all who seek him.  His true plan is to transplant the stone cold hearts of men out of their chests before they physically perish and implant a living heart of flesh. This new heart figuratively joins the heart of Christ to the hearts of men.  Jesus is a literal lifeline to God. And though the external will perish, be buried, and waste away; the internal has become eternal once again.

So maybe you can imagine my confusion when I read this passage from 2 Corinthians 2:14-17 (NIV & emphasis added by me):

 But thanks be to God, who always leads us as captives in Christ’s triumphal procession and uses us to spread the aroma of the knowledge of him everywhere.  For we are to God the pleasing aroma of Christ among those who are being saved and those who are perishing.  To the one we are an aroma that brings death; to the other, an aroma that brings life. And who is equal to such a task?  Unlike so many, we do not peddle the word of God for profit. On the contrary, in Christ we speak before God with sincerity, as those sent from God.

I am both alive physically and alive spiritually (because of Jesus).  How is it that I can be the repugnant and nauseating smell of death to some?  This is a powerful explanation for how disturbed unbelievers can be to the message of the gospel.  Like my reaction to the stench of dead animals, I often witness the culture cry out against the mere mention of God, Jesus, or prayer.  My heart aches when I see fellow Christians reject the word of God or other Christians because of how intense "the aroma of the knowledge of [God]" is. 

Too often, I know when I experience rejection in friendships, it is a result of a personal shortcoming.  I confess I am quick to speak and slow to listen.  I am opinionated to the point where I'm sure many have believed that I am simply judgmental.  These are fair assessments, though, I strive in God's enabling Spirit to be more humble and demonstrate the love of God more fully everyday.  I must question, though, if I am becoming "an aroma that brings death".  Indeed the author of the Message translates this passage in this way: "...those on the way to destruction treat us more like the stench from a rotting corpse."  How unbelievably sad it is to know that many will never experience reunion with God because the mention of his name disturbs them so deeply.

Continuing on this passage from 2 Corinthians, the author (Paul) doesn't leave the reader in dread of how they will be received.  There is no explanation of why my faith is stinky to the world; Paul does not desire for us to explore other worldviews and promote that they can offer life like Jesus does when they cannot.  There are not directions on how to mask the odor; Paul does not teach us how to mix the message of the gospel with culturally relevant topics to ease into God's word.  There is no exhortation given to conceal the odor; Paul does not instruct the Christian to keep his faith to himself or only exercise his love of God within the confines of the church.  No, Paul only suggests that when we speak about God, we are actually speaking before God.  We must do so sincerely remembering that we were once captives to death and now are sent by Him to share freedom and life everywhere.

The Faith Fraud

In my Bible study class this morning, we were sharing what we've learned about ourselves through our two years together.  We have studied from the first book of Genesis to the book of Acts so far~ quite a bit of material. According to my Bible, we've covered 936 pages out of 1034.  I listened intently to what these "wonder women" shared and considered what I had gained.

Class review of people, places, and events from creation to Paul's imprisonment

I first came to know the Lord when I was 19 years old.  Then my faith was like a new romance full of such zeal and excitement that I believed easily and hard on the gospel.  I read Luke like one who already knows their beloved is perfect; I didn't need the good doctor's testimony to underscore my faith.  However, my fervor faded as any infatuation inevitably does.  I think many consider this an actual crisis of faith: did I even believe to begin with?  What is it I actually believe anyhow?  At times I was even embarrassed by how shamelessly I boasted of Christ without really even knowing him.

By grace my skepticism and doubts turned into seeking.  I have witnessed a small number of my dearest friends withdraw from Christ entirely when they determined that either their hearts or minds had been deceived by Christianity or the church.  The intellectuals in the bunch just could not come to terms with God's claims in the Bible.  Too much mystery in creation, miracles, prophecy, etc to be firmly grounded.  They chose the wisdom of the world~ what they could see, test, explain.  For the passionate friends, they could not wait or trust in the fidelity of their creator; they sought the love of man.  No longer grieved by loneliness, no longer embittered by waiting for "God's timing", no longer burdened by the standards of a perfect Lord~ these friends were free to enjoy the security and intimacy of romantic love (perhaps the greatest idol for American women).

I share this not passing judgment on my dear friends.  I only comment because I, too, have clung to the tangibles when I could not see God clearly.  I still do to a degree.  After my zealous season passed, I began to go after the head-knowledge I was lacking.  I read stacks of Christian books and did a number of small group studies over the years.  Each one was beneficial to me; I was always happy to learn from others about God.  Yet I still deep down had a nagging feeling that my love for Jesus was not sincere.  So troubled by this thought, I was afraid to even talk about my faith because I was certain others (particularly Christians) would see through me.  Words like "inauthentic", "fraud", "deluded", and "phony" would pop up in my mind in the moments I wanted to talk about Jesus.  How was it that I wasn't getting closer to God when I was making the effort to explore and understand him?

That's where this study comes in.  I didn't know when I started it that I would gain a "big picture" approach to the Bible.  After all, it's 66 books written by 40 different men over the course of more than 1000 years.  How unified could it actually be?  How would the storybook characters from my Sunday school years like Moses and Noah fit into the bizarre Old Testament prophets like Amos and Haggai?  What does any of that have to do with the cross?  I was astonished to learn how reading the entire Old Testament prepared and shaped my understanding of the gospel.  My murky and limited view of the Old Testament was no longer pieces of felt board dramas or assertions that God in that time was different-- an angrier and vengeful God who was inexplicably cruel (have you heard that before?).

Instead, I saw the true character of God--merciful, just, and always seeking restoration in his relationship with man.  With that in mind, one can come to a book like Leviticus and see how it's not just a bunch of arbitrary rules and rituals; it was a makeshift way designed by God for man to reunite with God until Christ's coming.  In the book of Judges one can see the salvation of God each time the Israelites come under the oppression of their enemies.  One cannot miss in any book how much God loves individuals; look at the lives of David, Abraham, Daniel, Enoch (of Seth's line--not Cain's), Elijah, and Habakkuk (yes, read his short three chapter book if you've ever had a complaint against God or struggled with faith).  It's not just men that the Lord loves; take in and ponder the lives of Sarah, Naomi, Esther, Abigail, dearest Hannah, Eve, Ruth, Deborah, and even Bathsheba.  If God were not concerned with individual people, the Old Testament could not exist beyond Genesis chapter 1.

All the sudden Jesus makes a lot more sense.  Because my murky view of God wasn't limited to the Old Testament-- I now saw that the Christ I knew was incomplete, even a shadow of who he really is.  I once heard a story about a missionary who gave a man a copy of the New Testament.  This man read it entirely and returned to the missionary to share his thoughts.  The first thing he said to the missionary was, "Where is the first part of the story?"  When I approached the Bible with an attitude that the New Testament is for Christians and the Old Testament is for Jews, I missed the big point~ why Christ had to come at all.  How can I really understand my separation from God when I don't know when our separation happened, what God revealed about himself in spite of our separation, and how he planned our rescue from the moment things went wrong.

This is the long answer for what I've gotten from this Bible study.  I don't have to cringe when someone says that God is wrathful and angry or that God and Jesus have different and contradictory characteristics (personally, I find some of Jesus teachings about those going to heaven and hell much tougher than the assertions of the so-called "angry God of the Old Testament").  Jesus couldn't be the loving, compassionate Savior of the world if God weren't loving and compassionate as well.  There is ample evidence of that before Jesus' name appears in the Bible.  Having studied the word, my foundation for my faith is firm~ I know what I believe and no longer have to feel like I'm a faith fraud.

Reluctant to Write

Greetings dear reader,

I confess I had intended to write more.  There have been many days where I crave to share my thoughts and process the things I'm learning with you.  As soon as I sit down, I begin to shuffle through my initial thoughts and then get bogged down with my purpose.  Why do I write?  At first this blog was dedicated to be a journal and newsletter of sorts about Kyle and my experience in France.  At times I ventured into reflections, but I primarily recorded our day to day life with the hopes of incorporating a bit wit and excellent vocabulary for your entertainment.  Upon our return home to the states, it was clear I had lost my purpose in writing.  It's better to journal my thoughts in a handwritten diary, and no amount of clever writing could make my trips to the grocery store feel as significant as my chronicles from Europe.  Yet I still enjoy writing so much.  I sought a better motivation.

You've seen me dabble with faith and ideas before if you've been a consistent reader.  My passion for the word of God often inspires me; I frequently get carried away in blog plot brainstorms on Sunday mornings sitting in the pew at my church.  I'm also influenced greatly by whatever I'm reading or listening to on the radio or online.  I believe that with the correct motivation, prayerful effort, and the proper research, I could share with you the things that really light me up.  The difficulty is that my passions are perhaps tremendously counter-cultural.  I know as soon as I use certain language, you may tune out or determine I'm extreme.  I propose and promise to use the most gracious language I can muster to share my convictions. 

With that preface behind us, I had a friend share an article from the New York Times written by a young wife and mom in my area.  She entitled her piece An Agnostic's Guide to Marriage (though in the email I received, it was called An Agnostic's Fear of Unbelief).  My friend commented on the writer's spiritual confusion.  While discarding Christianity entirely for herself, she expresses a desire for her family to enjoy the benefits of faith.

[source]

 Here's the background:  Though she was not a Christian, the writer of the article discovered her soon-to-be husband held a reserved faith when they were planning their wedding ceremony.  She was removing the mention of God at every turn in the Order of Worship and was taken aback when her husband requested to preserve the recitation of The Lord's Prayer.  They never talked about Christianity before their engagement, and his faith seemingly didn't contribute greatly in shaping their marriage.  Here is how she described his faith (italics added by me):

As I peeled back the layers of his faith over the next few months, I discovered something else: my husband’s unobtrusive belief in a higher power was surprisingly attractive. He believed that an omniscient being watches over us, that when we died we would be together again in an otherworldly place, and that praying for people was an important part of caring for them.

 He didn’t go to church, he didn’t read from the Bible every night (I had actually never seen him with one in hand), and he didn’t feel the need to force his opinions on anyone else. He was Christian-lite: just enough for me to respect it, and more important, to live with it.

One day, to the dismay of our author, her husband confesses he no longer believes in God (he actually confesses an uncertainty of ever believing).  Many Christians would not be stunned that this man lost faith or doubted the existence of it to begin with.  Jesus himself discusses in the Parable of the Sower that faith in him is like a seed.  It is perfectly designed to grow and flourish so long as it is nourished in the proper environment.  The analogy is simple enough for a child to understand; without good soil, water, sunlight, and protection from other creatures, a plant simply cannot thrive.  The husband in this article appears to have had limited fellowship with God through prayer and chose not to know God more deeply through time in the Word (i.e. the Bible).  Nor did he have the support of other Christians because he was not involved in a church.  Like the plant that withered in the scorching sun, his faith decayed because it had no roots.

I felt so sad at reading this, but my grief for this family went deeper the more I read.  Her characterization of Christianity must be what many perceive.  She says (emphasis added by me):

Christians and religious zealots might say that deep down I was searching for a sense of peace that only the Lord can provide. Maybe, but I doubt it. I know myself enough to know that I can’t fuse my intellectual knowledge with a blind faith in a supreme deity. It just won’t ever happen.

What she would have witnessed by her husband must have looked like blind faith~ like a child who grows into adulthood holding on to his conviction that the Easter Bunny, Tooth Fairy, and Santa Claus are indeed real.  Our author admits it would be great if only it were true.  From her perspective, naivety prevented her husband from accepting agnosticism sooner.  Conversely, anyone who holds fast to the belief in God as an adult must only be perceived as a zealot; from a worldly perspective, believers appear to cast off reason to preserve a fantasy.  If God were like Santa Claus, she would be right to hold that opinion of Christians.

The author's doubts about her beliefs or lack thereof betray her agnostic resolve.  Twice she alludes to hell.  What if hell is real?  What if there is something after death?  Do I get a choice to go to heaven after my last breath?  There is humor in her language about gaining access to heaven; she likens it to telling a bouncer at a club that her husband is inside thus she warrants the right to enter to be reunited with him (calling this her "safety net").  It's the first time I've ever heard of someone relying on the so-called blessed assurance of another. 

The arrival of a baby boy revealed another area of her doubts.  She proposed finding a church to attend, "just to give [their son] some kind of spiritual base... An education of sorts about Christianity so he can have knowledge with which to agree or disagree."  Obviously this couple "disagrees" with Christianity.  Yet in presupposing their is inherent value in Christianity for some, she (most likely unintentionally) acknowledges there is truth in Christian teachings.  I'm trying to carefully select my words here~ bear with me.  A serious and thoughtful adult doesn't have opinions about religion.  It's not like cilantro where some have aversions to it while it's great for others.  It's either true or it's not.  If it's not true, it's as pitiable to believe in God as it is the Tooth Fairy. (For additional reading on this, see 1 Corinthians 15; verse 19 says, "If only for this life we have hope in Christ, we are of all people most to be pitied.")

I admit, I respect and totally relate to her motivations.  Spirituality and moral living make the church an attractive environment for parents who want to do the best for their children~ Christian or not.  I know this to be true very personally.  My parents joined a church when I was five years old, had my sisters and me baptized, and brought us regularly to church activities like Sunday school and choir.  Yet my father was an avowed atheist and my mother, well, I'm not sure what she was.  Maybe a well-intentioned feminist.  I enjoyed my church life as a child, but anything I may have learned there was not reinforced at home.  I certainly did not initially bear the fruit of their expectations from my church exposure; I was wild as a teenager dabbling in dangerous pastimes.

Family portrait for the church directory (no dad in sight) ~ I'm the one on the right in case you were curious.

It's all well and good to desire to raise your child with good values (trust me, it's a subject I pray about and hope I live out everyday with my son).  As our author says, "being kind to one another and not lying and not killing people and not committing adultery," are good values.  But logically we must accept we can't even uphold these simple values relying on all our best efforts.  Most days don't go by where we are kind to others in the way we hope or even expect to be treated.  No church or Christians can independently teach anyone how to be moral.  Paul says that trying to live by this moral code is a curse (Galatians 3:10).  The only only only only only way to even dream of living up to these good values or knowing what comes after death or gaining access to heaven is found in Jesus Christ alone.

In the part of the article that brought me to tears, our author is posed this question by her husband:  "Do you believe that Jesus died on a cross for your sins?"  Her response: “Well, no.”  I grapple to understand~ does she not believe he actually lived, taught, loved, was unjustly condemned, and executed?  Is it a matter of not having been exposed to historical evidence to accept this actually occurred?  Or does she believe he did all those things, but it doesn't amount to anything for her personally?  I guess if God may not exist, what does it matter what Jesus did 2000 years ago.

I admit I am limited in my empathy in one particular area:  I cannot fathom how anyone this smart can wonder at life, rearing children, marriage, faith, death, and even a great divine someone somewhere, and just as quickly squelch that curiosity because it would mean investigating Christianity.  It seems intellectually dishonest. I wish I could tell her that there is evidence for God in science, history, nature, culture, art, and literature.

And if she exhausted all the information testifying to who God is, there are always the accounts of a Nazarene man who was God incarnate; a living, feeling, breathing person who had the mind and heart of God.  Jesus not only died on the cross for our sins, he also woke up from death.  He lived a second time, and this life didn't result in a second death.  It's because of this that we don't have to wake in a panic "contemplating the finality of death".  Faith is not a virtual teddy bear to  distract us from our fears.  It's also not trying to be good or live by the rules to try to garner the grace of a distant king who also happens to be the landlord of eternity.  God is more real and good and just and smart and kind than I can express properly.  My zeal is showing, but I can't stop just yet.  Hypothetically, if my husband or my son had to choose between having a relationship with me or with God, my deepest desire would be for them to pick God.  Not because I'm self-loathing or because I don't love them beyond words, but because God is able to love them with incomparable love.  Sometimes I feel like I could burst when trying to share who He is; smarter people than I have filled the pages of books on Him. 

Here are my final thoughts prompted by this article.  Is "Christian-lite" what the world really wants?  Is Christian exuberance like mine rendered meaningless because it is chalked up as feeling the need to force my opinions on others?  I hope not.  Non-Christians take heed.  Because there is no negotiating at the gate with heaven's gatekeeper.  Jesus is sitting by God's right hand interceding on behalf of those who belong to him; in the club/bouncer scenario, he's our guy on the inside who can either put our name on the list (biblically known as the book of life) and invite us in or leave us on the outside.  And unfortunately, holding a good set of morals doesn't qualify us for entry.  It's not just murderers or thieves or any other type of villain excluded from heaven.  As Zephaniah warned the people in Jerusalem, it's not enough to believe in another religion or to have claimed follow God as some time in the past or be complacent in our unbelief ("to neither seek the Lord nor inquire of him" in Zephaniah's words).  All God wants is the inquiry.  Jesus promises you this in return:

 “Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you.  For everyone who asks receives; the one who seeks finds; and to the one who knocks, the door will be opened.  Which of you, if your son asks for bread, will give him a stone?  Or if he asks for a fish, will give him a snake? If you, then, though you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give good gifts to those who ask him!"

(Matthew 7: 7-11~ Italics are my addition; the exclamation point is Jesus')

[article source: http://www.nytimes.com/2012/09/02/fashion/an-agnostics-guide-to-marriage.html?_r=1&adxnnl=1&pagewanted=1&adxnnlx=1346443262-LIqakrd3tKYID2xw1xwEuA]

A postscript for/about my mother:  My mother came to faith many years ago and has been transformed into a completely different person.  Her relationship and faithfulness to God has been a testament to me (and I'm sure many others).  Also, Mom (if you read this), please don't unfriend me because I linked an article on the New York Times on my blog.  I don't intend to make it a habit.

Playground Justice

As a child, you could say I had an overdeveloped sense of justice.  I was intentional about finishing my classwork at school very quickly.  While my peers completed their work, I designated myself to be a rule- enforcing deputy of sorts.  I would observe if my classmates took short cuts in their exercises, if their eyes wandered to the work of their neighbors, and how well they cared for their textbooks and other school issued materials.  I had opinions on how everything ought to be done and rarely was satisfied with the efforts of those around me.  I thought I had all the answers, and my age hadn't even crossed into the double digits!

On one occasion, I took on the class bully.  A towheaded boy who was lean except for a little round belly, Chris was known for his rebellious behavior.  He back talked teachers and lunch monitors, took recess more seriously than any lesson in grammar, and had a reputation for picking fights.  Chris was not afraid to do what he wanted whenever he wanted.  One afternoon, my class was lining up to go inside from the playground.  I noticed Chris had cut in line; this was an unforgivable offense and I was swift to correct him.  I grabbed his shoulder from behind, and righteously declared, "You can't cut! Go to the back of the line!"  Before I knew it, he had grabbed my right hand and began to swing me around in a circle.  He released me just as quickly as he grabbed me, and my bare knees and hands skidded across the blacktop.  I had underestimated Chris's knowledge of physical science; apparently, he had learned a lesson on centripetal force from the WWF.

To add insult to injury (literally, as I had been bloodied by my opponent), I was sent to the principal's office as the instigator of the fight.  I was no different than my rule breaking foe in the eyes of the law.  I attempted to appeal to the principal's reason; I was an honorable citizen upholding the law of the land when no one else would.  She didn't see it that way, and my mom was called in for a parent-teacher conference to discuss my disobedience.  I was punished and felt a tremendous amount of chagrin (well, as much as a 3rd grader can feel...).

Ah, but the story didn't end there.  As dorky and obnoxious as a must have been, somehow I managed to become a favorite pupil to my 3rd grade teacher.  Knowing my character, as well as Chris's, Mrs. Reidy came to my rescue.  She sang my praises to my mother and suggested that I needn't be punished so harshly since it was my first major offense.  With that, my mom canceled my sentence to be grounded, and I repented from being an elementary despot (like a tiny Tracy Flick).

Thank goodness my little and big sister survived my unwarranted tyranny.

 A couple of entries ago, I shared with you how my passion for politics trumped my pursuit of God.  Now that I'm older, wiser, and so much more mature (giggle now, if you must), I could tell my worldview was missing one major element: GRACE.  Without my relationship with God, I fear I may have spent the better part of my life as an adherent to tough justice and unforgiveness.

I was recently listening to the Bible Study Hour with Dr. James Boice.  He taught on the parable of the unmerciful servant (here's a link to Dr. Boice's message).  This story is about a man who won’t forgive a small debt, even after his own huge debt has been forgiven.  I found similarities with this parable in my own childhood story.  My third grade teacher showed me mercy even after I had been quick to judge my fellow classmate.  As an adult, I must confront this nasty knack to be critical and seek to show grace to others.  Just as the master said, "Shouldn’t you have had mercy on your fellow servant just as I had on you?", I can hear God asking me, "Leah, shouldn't you have mercy on your husband, neighbor, child, friend, cashier, family member, fellow drivers, etc just as I had on you?"  When I reflect on all the things in my life that God has forgiven, how can I not look compassionately on those around me?  It's thanks to God that my eyes were opened.

I want to leave you with a verse from a great Biblical book on justice.  Micah wrote:

And what does the Lord require of you but to do justice, to love kindness, and to walk humbly with your God? 

(Micah 6:8)

Old Testament Politics

For the past year and a half I have been doing an excellent Bible study called the Amazing Collection.  Here's a little video about it:


As I was saying, I am doing this study that spends a week on every book of the Bible.  I've learned so much working my way through the Old Testament (I'm halfway through the minor prophets right now).  I've noticed particularly in the historical books how pertinent government is.  In Leviticus, Numbers, and Deuteronomy, God instructs Israel (through Moses) on law, justice, military, census taking, nationalism, and leadership.  Joshua and Judges center on God ordained conquest, division of property, and national defense.  In Ruth you'll find social subjects like godly marriage and caring for immigrants and widows.  1 & 2 Samuel and 1 & 2 Kings hold a record of God's kingship being supplanted by man, civil war, revolutions, assassinations, state sponsored violence against religious leaders, and a separatist movement that divides one kingdom into two.  These books ultimately end with foreign invasion, occupation, subjugation, deportation, and destruction in Israel's homeland.  All of that is in the Bible!  If the history of Israel doesn't have political implications, I don't know what does.

I know I've simplified some themes in the historical books of the Old Testament (and truly there is so much more to them that I couldn't begin to describe).  I just wanted share with you what I've discovered~ Politics matter to God.  Don't worry; I'm not going to write a personal position paper and try to convince you how my view is a good Christian outlook.  Instead I wanted to highlight a few things in scripture that show me the character of God.

1)  God can intervene and overcome the will of the head of a nation.  He is more powerful than the most powerful man on earth (whoever it may be).

• God completely upends Pharaoh's persistence in keeping Israel in bondage.  Pharaoh's stubborn attitude was no match for the 10 plagues and the parting of the Red Sea.  This can be found in Exodus.
• In his pride, Nebuchadnezzar is transformed by God from the ruler of the greatest empire of the age, Babylon, to a wild animal.  He is restored to normal life and his place of authority after he acknowledges God as the most high.  This is in the book of Daniel.
• Most impressive may be Cyrus king of Persia who permits the temple to be rebuilt in Jerusalem.  A later Persian king, Artaxerxes, dispatches his personal official, Nehemiah, to oversee the rebuilding of the wall around the temple.  It certainly wasn't in their national interest to do so.  These events were recorded in 2 Chronicles, Ezra, and Nehemiah.  There is even prophecy about Cyrus rebuilding the temple in the book of Isaiah. 

(There are more examples, I just chose these to illustrate non-Jewish leaders' interactions with God.  Other good ones are Xerxes/Ahasurerus in the book of Esther and King Belshazzar in the book of Daniel)

2)  God calls only some to spiritual leadership and some to political leadership, but he rarely if ever calls the same person to fulfill both roles.  

• Moses and Aaron are great examples of a political leader and a spiritually leader (respectively).  Moses was raised as Egyptian royalty; his experience uniquely qualified him to lead Israel into becoming an orderly nation under God.  Conversely Aaron was selected and charged with priestly duties ranging from sacrifice and offerings, care for the tabernacle, and spiritual training for his family to continue serving the Lord and the people.  Their experiences are recorded in Exodus, Leviticus, Numbers, and Deuteronomy.
• Samuel and Saul similarly represent spiritual and political leaders.  Samuel literally was brought up in the temple to be a priest.  Under God's instruction, he anointed the kings of Israel.  Though ordained to select a king, his primary responsibility was serving God.  King Saul had dominion over the nation of Israel by divine appointment.  He made the error of assuming spiritual authority that was not rightly his.   Saul was not supposed to make the burnt offering and fellowship offering before battle with the Philistines.  The result of his venture in unsanctioned spiritual leadership?  Saul's kingdom would not endure, and God replaced him with a new ruler, a man after his own heart, through whom God will establish an eternal kingdom (spoiler alert~ this refers to David & Jesus).  This can all be read in 1 Samuel.

3)  Obedience to God is apparently essential for the well-being of a nation.  Conversely there are consequences for the people if they are disobedient to God.  

• On a corporate level, the liberated Israelites cursed God when they became discouraged.  After fleeing Egypt, receiving the law at Mt. Sinai, and surviving on the provisions of God in the wilderness, the Israelites were on the precipice of entering the promised land.  Twelve men were commissioned to scout out the land being occupied by others; they found the Canaanites to be frightfully big.  Instead of believing God would provide a way, the people despaired.  God did not permit them to take the land.  They wandered aimlessly for 40 years until all in the unbelieving generation died.  This is found in Numbers.
• Moses' distrust of God had serious personal ramifications.  As a leader, he had a responsibility to model godly behavior in front of Israel.  When the people needed water, he struck a rock out of frustration to bring it forth.  Because he dishonored God by his behavior, Moses received the same punishment as his people~ he would die before he could enter the promised land (although he was permitted to see it).  This is also in the book of Numbers.

(I only included examples of disobedience because the rewards of obedience are a bit more of a challenge to convey accurately.  I am fearful of promoting some false prosperity gospel by talking about rewards in tangible means.  On a different note, the entire book of Judges illustrates the relationship between godliness and the health of a nation very well.)

4)  The morality of the leaders of the nation matters; if they set a poor example, the people are led astray.  

• Once Israel was divided into two nations, the Northern Kingdom (still called Israel) had a series of terrible kings.  'Terrible' means they instituted idol worship, allowed prostitutes in the temples, sacrificed their children to false gods, murdered, and lived absolutely depraved lives.  In a long list of Israel's wicked kings, only one (Jehoahaz) had any real redemptive qualities.  Even though he sought the favor of the Lord, it wasn't enough to turn the people back from their evil ways.  Israel was ultimately conquered by the Assyrians.
• Meanwhile the Southern Kingdom (called Judah), kings were more likely to stay steadfast in their faith.  Why?  The capitol, Jerusalem, was home to the temple.  Thus it was the center for godly worship and home to the Levitical priesthood.  They had nearly as many faithful kings as bad kings.  As such, they endured as a sovereign nation for a longer period of time.  Even though Judah was conquered by Babylon, after 70 years they were permitted to return to their home and rebuild their capitol.
• The king of Nineveh in the book of Jonah has a nearly inexplicable change of heart.  Jonah foretells the destruction of the Assyrians if they don't relent from their inhumane cruelty and submit to the God of Israel.  Miraculously and instantaneously, the king repents and compels the people to follow his lead.  The Lord delivers them from destruction because of their obedience.

5)  God's leaders aren't always selected through man's ideal ways. 

• Firstborns are not always heirs to the throne:  Arguably the first "head of state" in the Bible is Joseph.  He was given all authority over Egypt by Pharaoh in the book of Genesis.   His oldest brother, Reuben, may have felt some chagrin at Joseph's prominence.  In 1 Samuel we also learn David is the youngest among his brothers, and yet he is God's appointed king over Israel.
• The most prominent families aren't always deemed the best for the job:  King Saul came from humble beginnings.  Before his fall from grace, he had been chosen to govern God's people despite being a Benjamite, from the smallest tribe of Israel, and from the least of all the clans of the tribe of Benjamin.  His successor, David, was a shepherd; not exactly a big shot.  Both accounts are in 1 Samuel.
• God can raise a leader up out of a scandalous background:  Remember the saucy story of David and Bathsheba?  He had an affair with a married woman, tried to cover it up, and when he couldn't, he sent her husband to a certain death situation in battle.  The baby that David and Bathsheba conceived wasn't allowed to live because of David's sin.  However, did you ever here of a guy named Solomon?  He, too, is the offspring of David and Bathsheba.  He was the last king over a united Israel, presided over the longest period of peace in its history, and built God's temple in Jerusalem.  You can read about Bathsheba in 2 Samuel, and there's lots more on Solomon in 2 Samuel, 1 & 2 Kings, and 1 & 2 Chronicles (not to mention the books he authored~ Proverbs, Ecclesiastes, and Song of Songs).

(In the book of Esther there is another Joseph-type.  Mordecai, a Jew, is elevated to the most powerful position in the Persian kingdom.  Similarly, Daniel was a very influential leader in Babylon.  As for zeros to heros, Jesus is the most obvious Biblical king who started in a very lowly state.  He was born in a manger and spent a good bit of his childhood in Egypt away from his homeland.  Jesus also is the perfect illustration of a questionable background.  The immaculate conception could crudely be characterized as an unwed teen pregnancy.  Yet that miraculous event spurred the greatest miracle of all~ salvation for all who believe in Jesus.  Another scandalous event in Jesus, Solomon, and David's background happened with Judah, their ancestor and namesake of their tribe.  I won't share the nitty gritty details of the story, but he had a sleazy trist with his daughter-in-law Tamar which resulted in the birth of a child.  You can read about it in Genesis.)

To conclude, thanks for reading my reflections and interpretations on politics in the Old Testament.  I admit (as I have before) that I am no Bible scholar so you may find my examples to support my observations limited.  I freely invite you to share your thoughts and ask any questions.  If you would like the specific references on any of my examples,  I'd be happy to send them your way.  Again, thank you for visiting my blog; it's not the type of entry I'm used to posting and appreciate that you joining me out on my limb.

My list of Old Testament pre-exilic kings.  My sophisticated symbols for identifying good and evil kings are smileys and frownies (respectively).  Manasseh had two sad faces next to his name because he was super bad in Kings.  His stats should be updated to two frowns and one smile because he has a great redemption story in 2 Chronicles.  Totally didn't see that one coming!

Faith & Politics

Every time I've sat down to write lately, I have composed way too much for one post.  It's as if everything I'm either reading, hearing, or talking about revolves around  such a large topic that when I try to simplify what I'm thinking, I just limit the fullness of my thoughts.  It started with the book I'm reading, God and Government, by Charles Colson.  It's all about how Christians should approach their civic duties and provides a wide range of historical events as examples of Christian dos and don'ts.  In church on Sunday my pastor preached a wonderful sermon  centered very nearly on the same topic (you can enjoy Dr. Youssef's sermon entitled "Seek the Peace of the City" here).  Even on my book blog (on which I haven't posted since the babe's birth), I had a comment out of the blue concerning my take on a highly politically charged subject as a Christian.  I just cannot seem to escape one question:  How politically active should Christians be? 

I will admit that in the past I had stronger convictions about my  politics than about my faith.  I was unaware of it, but it's clear to me now that I probably couldn't have avoided it.  I came to faith in college, and in spite of my hunger for learning God's word, I was an international affairs student with stacks of books to read each semester full of ideology and worldly principles.  I spent the majority of my time with a coffee in hand and my nose in a book on diplomacy, just war theory, ethics, etc.  I also majored in French and minored in Spanish.  When I wasn't studying political theory, I had French novels and Spanish plays consuming any fun reading time.  It didn't leave much time or brainpower for exploring the Bible.  Although I loved my education, I feel a tinge of missed opportunity because I didn't devote myself to my faith with the same vigor I committed myself to school.  I say this particularly because my political education is rather meaningless without the acknowledgment of God as the one true sovereign king.

As I begin to explore this subject, I hope to share some of what I learn with you.  I am no scholar on the Bible or political theory.  I have a passionate interest in both.  It is a very important time in our nation's history to consider what actions need to be taken or words need to be spoken in order to uphold liberty and justice for all.  I hope to do this without sinning against any person and in a manner that honors my God.   Please feel free to share with me your thoughts on this matter. 

Touristy Leah~ Center of Washington, D.C. Summer 2009

Whale of a Tale

I'm a in Bible study class where we read a book of the Bible a week.  We're half way through a study on the minor prophets and focused on Jonah this past class.  Jonah by far is the most recognizable among the minor prophets~ whether you grew up in church or not, you're likely familiar with the tale of the man who survived three days in the belly of a great fish.  His story is one of the shortest books in the Bible.  In my childhood, my choir performed a whole play about Jonah.  Every now and again when I'm wishing I could remember something pressing like if I locked the front door when I left the house or the PIN number for my library card, I wonder why words of the songs of my youth stick with me so easily...

Jonah, Jonah, Jonah,

The LORD wants you to go

To a land of shame and woe

To Nineveh in Assyria

And let those people know

How to walk in the way of the LORD.

(Source)

My enthusiasm for old Jonah has grown since I was a kid.  When you've heard a story so many times sometimes you think you've learned everything you're ever going to learn.  Fortunately for me, Jonah was redeemed from my poor Sunday school education that would have him permanently reduced to fish bait.  In my limited understanding of the Bible, Moses' greatest life event was hearing a burning bush talk; Jesus was a serene man who hugged children and lambs; and Solomon rescued a baby from a kidnapper posing as its mom.  Goodness, I'm glad there is more to God and his word than that.

I like to consider the book of Jonah to be part three of the Old Testament missionary trilogy.  What is this triple threat?  I'm glad you asked...


Part I~ Amos, a country farmer from Tekoa, Judah, goes north to the big city of Bethel in Israel to preach the coming judgment from God for their waywardness.  He's best known for his 5 visions illustrating the judgment: a locust swarm, fire, a plumb line, overripe summer fruit, and God standing beside the altar.

Part II~ Obadiah... very little is known about him including when he wrote.  He's from Judah and is most likely the first writing prophet.  He warned the neighboring nation of Edom that their pride would lead to conflict and ultimately their destruction.  Fun fact~ Obadiah was a descendent of Jacob making him an Israelite.  His message was to Edom, the descendents of Esau who was Jacob's twin brother.

Part III~ Jonah was called by God to go to Nineveh, the capital of Assyria and call the people to repent because their wicked ways would bring calamity.  Jonah attempted to flea to Tarshish because the Assyrians were renowned for their cruelty and violence (speaking of fish, they used to pierce their conquered foes in their faces with large hooks to drag them into exile... bleh). 

Because these books are in order in the Old Testament, it helps me keep them straight in my memory (now about that libary PIN....).  Alright, you may be like me and believe everything in the Bible actually happened.   There are many Jonah skeptics even among Christians who think this account is a fable or some sort of fiction.  Though it may require a bit of faith to believe it is bona fide history, I have a couple of pieces of evidence that support it being true.  We know the Ninevites had a major change of heart after Jonah ministered to them.  They had been terribly violent conquerors. A generation after Jonah's visit, the Assyrians conquered Israel.  History reveals that at this time they were a gentler imperial force most likely as a result of their submission to God.

(Source)

James Bartley is our modern day Jonah.  In 1891 he survived 15 hours inside the body of a sperm whale.  It's a fraction of the time Jonah was inside his fish, but it proves it's possible.  Bartley's skin was bleached out by the whale's belly fluids.  Some have hypothesized that this is why Jonah's ministry was so effective.  The truth is, he only preached 3 days, and one singular verse encompasses his entire message (Jonah 3:4).  It obviously wasn't his dedication to the people or a flair for oration that captured the Ninevites' attention.  This foreigner's odd appearance supported by the testimony of his death defying tale on the high seas likely made him the center of attention as he made his way through the Assyrian capital.

If these don't sufficiently authenticate Jonah for you, I have one final thought to share.  For me it is the most compelling of them all.  Jesus himself spoke of Jonah as a real man.  Matthew 12:38-41 says:

Then some of the Pharisees and teachers of the law said to him, “Teacher, we want to see a sign from you.”

He answered, “A wicked and adulterous generation asks for a sign! But none will be given it except the sign of the prophet Jonah. For as Jonah was three days and three nights in the belly of a huge fish, so the Son of Man will be three days and three nights in the heart of the earth. The men of Nineveh will stand up at the judgment with this generation and condemn it; for they repented at the preaching of Jonah, and now something greater than Jonah is here..."

If Jesus was convinced Jonah was real than I don't need any other proof.  Jesus' support for the authenticity of the book of Jonah made me reflect on a larger subject.  Jonah is one of many stories in the Old Testament that gets the tall tale treatment.   David slayed an enormous Philistine with a rock.  Moses and Joshua parted large bodies of water through which the Israelites passed unharmed.  Noah and his family were the only human survivors of a worldwide extinction event.  Jonah was no Paul Bunyan and neither were David, Moses, Joshua or Noah.  All of these people were real and all of these stories are true.

As I am writing this, I am struck by something rather funny.   We modern folks hold the entirety of God's word with every sign and wonder included so that we may believe, and yet it all seems so fantastic (literal fantastic means imaginative or fanciful; remote from reality).  Particularly in regards to the Old Testament, I hear people say:  It's too far out there; it must all be an allegory or myth or parable.  This or that was meant to be symbolic.  In contrast we have this passage I just quoted from Matthew; the Pharisees demanded some supernatural sign from Jesus to prove he was the son of God.  What a funny thing that no one is ever satisfied with what God has revealed to them.

What conclusions can I draw when thinking about truth in the Old Testament?  The Old Testament isn't intended to just make our Bibles heavier when we're toting them to and fro.  It also isn't meant to be distilled into children's stories or shelved because the New Testament seems more relevant to our lives.  Rereading Jonah reminds me to take God's word seriously and believe that what his messengers~ whether king, prophet, judge, disciple, or the incarnate God~ say is true. 

Jaleel White

I don't remember too many of my birthdays distinctly, but my eighth birthday party stands out.  It's the only family party I can recall where we ate dinner out.  We met at Ryan's which delighted me beyond measure primarily because there was an all you can eat buffet and soft serve ice cream.  I'm pretty sure I only consumed dinner rolls, pepperoni, olives, and chocolate ice cream~ ah, the unsophisticated palate and free will of a child.  I felt terribly spoiled on this birthday as well because I relished the opportunity to have happy birthday sung to me and to open presents before an audience of other diners.  It made me feel important.  I think because it was such a unique event in my childhood, I have such strong memories of the gifts I received.  My most treasured present was a doll.  I'm sure all girls my age had special dolls but not like this one.  It was the greatest doll ever fabricated in the 1990s.  It was the Talking Urkel doll...

He said humorous catch phrases like "Did I do that?" and "Got any cheese?".  I played with Urkel so much that one of his suspenders broke off and his pull-string no longer made him speak.  For a season he was my favorite, but it didn't last.  The popularity of Family Matters faded, and I outgrew my toy.  My Steve Urkel doll was tossed into the old donation pile and exiled from our happy home.  Did I just give a synopsis for the Toy Story movies?  The Urkel doll & Woody bear some uncanny similarities...

Years later when I was a freshman in high school, something totally unexpected happened.  I was invited by a friend to have brunch with his family at the Ritz Carlton in Buckhead.  In my mind it was the height of elegance and by far the fanciest event of my young life.  I wanted to look my best, but I had one major problem.  I was plagued by bad vision and had to wear glasses.  Of all the deplorable enemies of femininity, prescription spectacles were the worst.  So while preparing I chose my most beautiful skirt and headband for my hair.  I selected chunky platform shoes because ladies where shoes that boost their height.  And I tucked my loathsome glasses in their case and left them on my nightstand.  After all, what if someone were to have a camera?  I didn't want to be immortalized on film at the fanciest place ever looking like a nerd.

Well, the Ritz brunch exceeded every expectation I had.  There was a chef preparing specialty omelets.  Every kind of pastry imaginable filled a beautiful table~ croissants, scones, muffins, danishes~ all glorious.  You could eat sausage, bacon, and eggs to your heart's content.  And there, at the caviar table (yes, a whole table dedicated to caviar) was Jaleel White.  Or so I was told.  Sure, I saw the figure of a young and slender black man, but he could have been anybody.  O curs'd spite!  Having left my glasses at home, I missed the possibility of seeing not only a real life celebrity, but one I had actually cherished.  Why had I not just packed my glasses in my purse?  Certainly the Steve Urkel would not have thought me a dork if I wore corrective eye wear.  I was urged by my friend to greet Jaleel White, but I felt such tremendous chagrin for not being able to see him that I was only persuaded to stroll past his table on my way to refill my plate.

While reflecting on these two Urkel anecdotes, a word kept coming into my mind.  Vanity.  It's like King Solomon was in my head reciting Ecclesiastes from his King James Bible, "Vanity of vanities; all is vanity..." (that's how he kicks off the book in chapter 1 verse 2, and yes Solomon owning a KJV is anachronistically impossible).  At two different times in my life, I was consumed with vanity.  The first I think is common for children and adults alike; we all desire to be celebrated especially by those we love.  Perhaps it was innocent enough at the time, but in my memory it is a top shelf momento.  It is my pride of special birthday nostalgia.  Maybe there is no danger in boasting about my eighth birthday. 

On the other hand, being embarrassed by wearing glasses was a silly thing.  Pretty much without exception, teenage girls are vain.  On that day it cost me something.  It could have been an episode of Family Matters (and likely was) where Steve removes his glasses to be cool but has some misadventure leading to property damage and an unhappy Carl Winslow.  I know for a fact that Stephanie Tanner struggled with glasses insecurity.  If I hadn't been so consumed with appearing a certain way, I wouldn't have missed a neat opportunity (or fibbed to many of you about how I've actually seen Jaleel White in person).

Steve giving Stephanie a pep talk about wearing glasses (Source) (VIDEO)

Stephanie Tanner & I had the same stylist~ floral dresses with lace collars and glasses

I wish at both those times in my life Solomon could have been in my head (or rather, heart) and imparted some of his wisdom.  I was too proud for my own good and attributed the good things in my life (particularly my eighth birthday party) to some inherent greatness in me.  On the other occasion, I was figuratively (and literally) blind to how shallow I was until there were consequences for my vanity.  Perhaps if I hadn't been so self involved, I could have had a little more gratitude for my family and friends treating me to nice meals and for having parents who provided glasses for me.  Who knows?  I might have even had the courage to introduce myself to Jaleel White and share with him that I always identified more with bespeckled and humble Steve than too-cool-for-school Stefan...