I read a letter recently about a minister trying to share the gospel with a young woman. She confessed that she wanted to believe in Jesus but hadn't witnessed Christians really "living for him". It's been said that Christians read the Bible, but non-Christians read believers. This subject has weighed on my heart for a few weeks now. There are two sides to it I want to see clearly. One is the certainty that Christians do fail. The other is that reluctance a non-believer has in starting a relationship with Christ. When these two components are combined it's like magnets forcing each other apart.
It is certain that I have failed to exemplify Christ in my life. Only recently has God made it apparent to me how susceptible I am to traps of wrong thinking. For instance, I once had a roommate who drove me crazy with how messy and carefree she was. The more aggravated I became at my living situation, the more I began to attribute terrible motives to my unsuspecting friend. This debacle poisoned my heart; I felt so victimized that my focus was entirely on me. How could I possible reflect the Savior's love to others as I harbored and even nurtured feelings of disdain, arrogance, and dissension in my heart? I am ashamed to admit that this distorted view stayed with me for the better part of two years while I was actively involved in ministry.
How much did I hinder my spiritual growth and the expansion of God's kingdom in that time?
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| {Big Saps 2006-2007} |
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| {CCF Interns 2007-2008} |
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| {CCF Interns 2007-2008} |
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| {Branch Barks 2007-2008} |
In the book of Romans, Paul deals with this same problem. At the time he was talking about the Jews, but this concept applies to Christians today: "God's name is blasphemed among the [unbelievers] because of you." {
Romans 2:24}. God is mischaracterized by his followers who muddle the message through unguarded words, wrong behavior, and spiritual dormancy. It's like a bad game of "telephone" where God starts the conversation stating "I love YOU!" and by the time I get my turn to tell you what God has said, it's something vulgar and imperfect and perhaps impossible to be taken seriously. This is my fault, not God's. Paul's response to this problem is quite cogent:
What if some were unfaithful? Will their unfaithfulness nullify God’s faithfulness? Not at all! Let God be true, and every human being a liar. {Romans 3:3-4}
Oh, that my bad example wouldn't nullify in anyone's mind how good God is.
Is there a way for Christians to explain this well? I feel the pinch of two things at work in me. First, that I am very unqualified to represent Christ to anyone. Second, that as His follower, I am called and even compelled to tell people about him. I feel like I have the credibility of Pauly Shore trying to give away a Ferrari: a stupid messenger proclaiming an unimaginable reward.
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| Want a free caa---ar? Weasel! [source] |
Alas, my incompetence ought not lead me to throw in the towel. The Bible tells us that Abraham traded his wife TWICE with other men to try and save his own skin. Yet he is called righteous and a friend of God. David was a polygamist murderer who was said to have a heart after God. Unworthy people are justified in God's sight because they surrender their misguided plans for their lives to God. George Morrison says that, " the victorious Christian life is a series of new beginnings." These new beginnings are marked by a surrender to God. It's when I offer myself~ my mind, my time, my money, my feelings, etc to God for him to shape and use for His holy purposes. Paul says its like being a "living sacrifice" in Romans 12, but the odd thing about this surrender is that it yields renewal of my spirit (or soul, as you might say).
What could motivate me to live as a sacrifice? I remember God's mercy. His sacrifice for me was great. He chose for me to live while his only Son died. Given the choice between you, dear reader, and my only son, I choose my baby every time. This is how I know God's love for me has no limits. And to quote Paul immoderately, " I believed; therefore I have spoken" {2 Corinthians 4:13}. If I believe it's true (which I do), I must talk (or in this case, write) about it.
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| Me choosing B |
Now for an unbeliever~ I'm not sure what holds you back. When I didn't believe in Jesus, it was a choice. I wasn't opposed to Christianity as some are. I was rather open to its teachings. I just didn't like the thought of all that would have to change. Deep down I thought God didn't make me in a way that I could be moral or even like living in a moral way. Where was the fun in living like a prude? At some point, I decided living the "fun" way was pretty painful. There were a lot of consequences to my kind of fun~ most of which left me very unhappy. I thought I'd get my act together and then perhaps present myself to God to see if the Christian life was worth my while. In spite of some pretty good effort, I still couldn't keep myself out of trouble. I had failed. At this time, I basically said, "God, if you are really interested in me, you are going to have to make me better than I am all on your own. You are going to have to show me how to live your way with megaphones and billboards because it's the least natural thing for me in the world to be like you." You could say that that was a sorry introduction I made to the Creator of the universe; there was no incentive for him to take me into his family. That prayer I made was pitiful, but as crazy as it is, that is all God needed. God drew me to Him and taught me about real love and real life. My terrible proposal was the beginning of a beautiful relationship~ as close as one could be to the most beloved family member.
If you have reservations about God, try telling him. Sure, it'll feel ridiculous, but God sincerely desires to hear from you. Don't be like I was and say to God, "Why did you make me like this?" {Romans 9:20} Instead ask for God to make Himself known to you. This is what Jesus prayed:
“Righteous Father, though the world does not know you, I know you, and they know that you have sent me. I have made you known to them, and will continue to make you known in order that the love you have for me may be in them and that I myself may be in them.” {John 17:25-26}
Please don't let anything or anyone come between you and the fulfillment of Jesus' prayer for you.
